AITAH for wanting to go no contact with BIL because he got mad my husband called a type of meat the wrong name?

This honestly is such a ridiculous story and has turned into a huge family debate over meat. I wish I was joking. My husband(30) and I(29) both listen to a lot of Reddit stories podcasts and have joked about posting this story before just to get peoples opinions, but never did until now obviously.

Anyway, to the story. It’s long, so I’m sorry. Maybe I overexplained. Hopefully you guys don’t mind but I really felt like I was keeping it short l since there was a lot of other things he did, and people will come for me if I leave out any detail I’m sure

In June 2024, we went on a trip to Minnesota and stayed in an Airbnb. We in all honesty didn’t want to, just because vacation time is scarce and we didn’t exactly want to spend it in a state we’ve both been to and already didn’t care for, but we went anyways because my husbands parents wanted to see their two children at the same time since they rarely get to. Husbands sister lives in Minnesota, we live in Georgia and husbands parents live in California. SIL(Courtney, 37) had two children and we get flying with two kids(2 and 5 I think) can be difficult so we ultimately went with what was easiest for them. I have a daughter(8) as well

So we went, and honestly the first few hours were fine and enjoyable. But then I started noticing Courtney’s husband, David(40), disrespecting their mother a lot. I didn’t say anything as it wasn’t super necessary since she was defending herself well and didn’t wanna stir up anything that wasn’t needed

Onto the drama, the first night we were there I went to take a shower. When I got out, I heard yelling and dried off and went downstairs and David is in my husband(Marco’s) face yelling at him about how stupid he is, and Marco told him to get out of his face

I look around and realize FIL and Courtney are both in the room just watching this happen. I stood there for a moment trying to figure out what was going on, I’m not exactly big on confrontation so I was a little nervous and Marco is a very gentle, understanding person and watching him get pissed off was unheard of and I was honestly gearing up to jump in as well but I didn’t know what to do in the moment. I was just listening to Marco say things like “I understand but David please get out of my face I’m telling you I’m done with this conversation and you keep going on” and David kept yelling and eventually my husband just said “OKAY DAVID, JUST FUCK OFF” and walked away. What I saw happened very quickly, I’m not sure how long they were arguing before I went downstairs

A little more backstory here that I forgot to mention,

David works in the dairy industry(he’s a salesman’s and also has inseminated cows for a living as well and has bragged about being shoulder deep in a cow. It’s very, very off putting.) and is very passionate about beef and the couple has told Marco before they buy an entire cows worth of meat a year and not have to buy meat again for awhile. I’m not sure what their exact words were that’s just what I was told. So anyway, Courtney is cooking and Marco was just trying to make small talk with his sister since they don’t talk much and asks “So you guys just buy a whole cow and eat that meat for a whole year? That’s awesome”

Here comes David, swooping in and getting offended. “it’s NOT called a cow, a cow is a female that has given birth. The meat that we eat is called STEER!! Call it by its correct name!!” And Marco thought he was joking and laughed it off, David went off about how stupid people are and how they need to know the proper terms for things. Marco defends himself and just says “okay dude, I didn’t know” and somehow or another it blows up into what I came downstairs to. Everything simmers down for night and the following morning I wake up and and hear them arguing AGAIN

This time, apparently Marco woke up before me and went downstairs to grab his morning coffee. The literal first thing David does is get in his face and go “BY THE WAY-“ and started yelling at him again about the cow/steer situation. Marco responds with “David, it’s first thing in the morning and I haven’t even had my coffee” and David’s response is “IT’S NOT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, IT’S 8AM”

call me crazy, but that’s first thing in the morning for a lot of people on a vacation…right?

This time I chimed in and told them to stop arguing and they’re ruining the trip for Marco’s parents. David said nothing to me and walked away.

The situation was so outrageous and David never apologized for his behavior, and in fact expects Marco to apologize for “disrespecting” him. Marco and I have decided that we want no contact with David. A civil discussion with David isn’t even possible even if Marco wanted to, but to be honest he doesn’t. This was his final straw. We understand that Courtney and David are a package deal, and that means we probably won’t see them again. But he will still talk/text to his sister and not cut her off from just speaking at the least. Marco loves his sister but feels he shouldn’t have to put up with David’s nonsense, as he’s consistently starting arguments and belittling his mother in law. I had never met him before this trip, so I have no say in all of the past events. All I know is, this situation was bad enough for me to want no contact especially with the expected apology from us. It got brought up in a conversation last night on the phone and Marco’s dad kept saying that families should forgive each other and how we’re being ridiculous, his mom then got really angry and told him to “man up” and get over it and stop harboring negative feelings for no reason. We’ve tried to make it clear it’s literally just to protect ourselves, our inner peace and to not waste the little vacation time Americans get on people we don’t want to see. I know because he is my husband I am biased, but Marco is my best friend and I know him better than anyone. It takes a LOT to get him to this point, he has a very long fuse and is always so kind and understanding. Seeing him blood boiling angry was honestly completely new to me and this was the first time I’ve seen him that way, as when he’s frustrated with normal life things he doesn’t really show it. Last night my in laws kept asking things like “but what are we supposed to do on holidays?” As if we’re asking them to choose between us, but we aren’t. We don’t even care if they visit us on the holidays, since we visit them during the year anyway. David/Courtney’s haven’t visited them in around 2-3 years now, the parents always have to visit them. So.. basically this really dumb situation is now causing tension with my in laws as if it is our fault and we don’t understand why we should connect with someone who disrupts our peace. So Reddit, are we the AH? Should M suck it up and apologize?

Other disrespectful comments were made by David in passing as well that we just let go because we felt bad for Marco’s parents. If you guys want more then I’ll comment them.

TLDR; Brother in law got mad my husband called cow meat, cow meat, when it evidently is called steer, according to BIL. It got blown out of proportion and now my in laws are upset we don’t want to talk to him anymore.

Edit because I see some people getting confused and I should’ve mentioned it first anyway so it’s my fault: We stayed in an Airbnb!

I edited the post and making M, D and SIL their real names

When Marco gets off work, I will have him post the actual argument in edits if you guys want it. Otherwise it’s not super necessary, as far as I’m concerned