I am a 21M year old college student addicted to methamphetamines and benzodiazepines daily and I can’t go to rehab. Is there any way possible to quit myself?

I am scared and am facing a dilemma. Before I got addicted I used to get A’s and B’s.

Any time I get off these i begin to fall into WD and fail my classes, anytime I get back on I begin to go overboard and even skip my assignments because I become so arrogant to the point to where it’s almost like I’m above the other students in my class. I can remain functional for a few weeks but then the body stress becomes to heavy dosing multiple times a day, trying to get vitamins to at least get my body to not get destroyed as much, trying to get sleep, etc…

I can’t go to therapy because my parents are control freaks who would not kill me- but stalk me like cia agents behind me and watch every trace of my footstep and remove my privacy and take away my freedoms. They’ve gone to the point to where they’ve just locked me into my house and I can’t go anywhere for two years, those years being the Covid pandemic. Not even to Walmart. Just wake up, eat, go back upstairs, play, go down, eat, sleep. Just that for two years out of fear for Covid.

My dad is an over reactive clown and explodes at the slightest thing possible yet when some crazy things happen he just gets depressed. Mom isn’t that helpful either other than giving advice that was like from 50 years ago and sending tiktok memes about why people quit (insert drug here)

Like it’s not why but it’s HOW can I quit. Which is why I want to ask y’all.