Can women be friends with guys?
Preamble:
- I'm close friends with a guy I've known for over 20 years named Bob. We've only ever been just friends, and support each other through thick and thin. For example, when Bob went through a nasty divorce from his wife, I was there to listen.
- I'm happily married to another man who is also good friends with Bob.
- My husband often works nights and is more than okay with me hanging out with Bob (we have a few beers, talk about life, whatever) because he wants me to have a social life and feels badly that I'm often home alone on weekends.
- My boomer mother told me that she has a serious issue with this because "women can't be platonic friends with men." She thinks my husband feels hurt (I assure you he doesn't). She says that I should never hang out with Bob unless I've invited my husband too (which I do, often, but he's not always able to because of his work schedule). She also says that it's weird and creepy and started a huge blowout fight with me tonight about a complete non-issue.
I feel like I'm going crazy. In my mind, she is coming at this from a completely old school mentality where women need to be attached at the hip to their husbands. She says I'm being defensive because I'm hiding something, but it's really because my judgment is being called into question, and I have nothing to be shamed of/worried about. I'm a confident woman who loves my husband, but also loves hanging out with my male friend.
Do you think it's normal for a married woman in her '30s to have a male friend who she hangs out with, sometimes without her husband? Is it me who's crazy? I hate being questioned about this because I have nothing to hide, and know that my husband is completely fine with this...but I'd love an outsider perspective. TIA!