Settling down with an unambitious man. Would you do it?

Distinct recent experiences in life has taught me this: most straight women will resent their partners who lack drive or ambition if and when they want to have children. It happens a lot where a woman falls for a man and doesn’t care that he’s not successful or driven. She loves him for other reasons. He may be kind, good-looking, funny etc. She brushes off the fact that he isn’t too fussed about bettering himself, has an easy/no job, isn’t thinking about promotions, climbing the ladder etc. She admires his non-materialistic ways.

Then bam, one day it’ll hit you. One day you’ll start thinking about growing a family. You’ll think you ideally may want to take some time off work. You may want to stay home with your baby a little while longer. You don’t hate the idea of staying home for at least a couple of years, just to take in everything, breastfeed in peace and not miss any milestones with your baby. But you realise… you can’t. Because the man you’ve chosen to be the father of your baby could never pay all the bills. You absolutely have to work. You have to leave your baby. You consider nannies/daycares. You don’t love any of these. He offers to be the stay-at-home parent. It makes sense because you make more money anyway. And suddenly you’re in this family dynamic you never planned. Is this what you envisioned growing up? That you’d be unwillingly working at a time that you always thought you’d be home with your baby/toddler going to Mommy & Me classes and coffee dates with your cute little companion. Instead, the undriven man you chose to settle down with gets to stay home, nap with the baby, and bottle-feed the breastmilk you have to pump at work.

This may not apply to all of you, but for those of you whom it strikes a chord, please please pick your boyfriends/husbands carefully and don’t unwittingly end up living a life that your younger self would consider a nightmare.