Noise Cancelation that's comfortable?

I've been seeking noise canceling headphones forever and I keep running into issues. I'm hoping someone has an idea what to do.

1. I have small ears so the vast majority of earbuds are painful. The jlab minis are the ones I can wear the longest and even then it's not great. Also if you change facial expression with earbuds the noise canceling goes away bc they're unseated.

2. I have tmj, so I notice many of the over-ear headphones also hurt because they squish my jaw/head. I can't seem to find ones that fit me.

Maybe I just have weird proportions? Any ideas?