I asked ChatGPT to make a dating profile based on my worst features

Prompt:

Generate a fake dating profile for me. The twist should be the profile should actually highlight all my worst features, but it sounds as though I think they’re actually my best qualities. In this profile I should be totally oblivious that my glaring faults make me sound like a horrible match for anyone, and instead should be written as though I believe these flaws make me quite a catch!

My results:

Dating Profile: “The Catch You’ve Been Waiting For”

Name: Jenn, Queen of Chaos 🌟 Age: Timeless (but I’m told I have the energy of an over-caffeinated teenager) Location: Wherever the Wi-Fi’s strongest 📡

About Me: Why settle for boring when you can have me? I’m an unapologetically unique blend of contradictions that will keep you guessing every moment of the day. Overthinking everything? That’s me! It’s called depth, darling. I’ll make you question every decision you’ve ever made—and then I’ll impulsively do the opposite of what I just suggested. Thrilling, right?

I thrive on being “one of a kind.” Some might call it stubborn, but I prefer “a woman who knows exactly what she doesn’t want, even if she’s not sure what she does want.” And don’t worry, I’ll bring that same unpredictable energy to every decision we make together, from dinner plans to life goals.

Conflict? Never heard of her! That’s because I’ll shut down completely and avoid any argument like my life depends on it. But don’t worry—I’ll make up for it by passive-aggressively agreeing to things I don’t actually like. That’s called harmony.

Likes:

• Starting hobbies with unmatched passion and forgetting about them two weeks later. Commitment to novelty is sexy, right?
• Procrastinating on literally everything and somehow pulling off last-minute miracles. (Or not. Either way, it’s an adventure.)
• Dramatically spiraling into existential crises and insisting it’s just who I am.
• Leaving things unsaid because I’m positive you’ll just know how I feel.

Dislikes:

• Anything remotely conventional or “logical.”
• Constructive feedback—ugh, boring.

Looking For: Someone who can embrace my whimsical chaos while providing me the structure I claim to hate but secretly crave. You’ll also need to handle my tendency to zone out mid-conversation because I just remembered something embarrassing I did in 6th grade.

Oh, and if you love dogs, you’ll need to compete with Aspen. She’s basically the love of my life already, but I might consider a second-place trophy for you.

Think you can handle all of this? Swipe right and prepare for the most confusing, exciting, and perplexing ride of your life. No refunds!