I am not morally sound

Ya know that meme where atheists say "if you need a book to tell you a good person then you arent a good person"

that but like...literally me. The only reason I bother is because I'm clinging on the fact that their may be a God and theres redemption for everyone.

I have a lot of immoral thoughts. I dont know why im like this and im scared of myself and im scared for the people around me