Substitute to Valium?

I had Valium before dong to the dentist and I suffer from severe anxiety and bpd. It's just the bpd tends to make my ocd/anxiety go out of control. I've taken other SSRI but I honestly really felt like Valium was making me feel at peace and it was so nice. Idk what the come down of it was because I had surgery after that and was coming off of Anesthia and couldn't remember much. I've heard people have taken Valium and then get sad after which I'm not really fond of. Is there any other drug like this that isn't addictive but gives you a relaxing feeling? And no I'm not asking for medical advise I'm just asking what drug produces a similar feeling that's not addictive. Even when I smoke I get paranoid after a while which annoys me