i'm not fake because my dysphoria is different from yours

DYSPHORIA, SH, MENTIONS OF BODY PARTS

i suffer a lot of painful self destructive wanting to get rid of myself dysphoria. i don't like it that just because i can enjoy my natal genitals in any way that i'm somehow fake

i'm struggling, screaming crying TRYING TO PROVE to everyone that i'm a man. my ribs ache from binding and my throat hurts from always lowering my octave. not being seen as or considered a man brings me so much physical pain that i mitigate it with more physical pain

so when i come here, after YEARS of trying to convince the people around me that i'm a guy, and hear you SUGGEST that i'm not BECAUSE MY DYSPHORIA IS DIFFERENT

I WANT TO DIE. SIMPLY PUT.

I CANNOT BE OSTRACIZED BY THE ONE COMMUNITY I FIND A PLACE IN.

i don't know what else to tell you. i don't know how i can convince you, it's driving me mad. i believe that if i cite all of the things that make my mind unravel and my body nauseous, that maybe i could get it across... idk

i feel alone EVERYWHERE. general ftm subs don't address the pain that the condition of being trans brings anywhere near enough. they also don't believe that you need dysphoria... which i cannot get behind

trumen is too strict, they'll point to any trans man that WALKS a little femininely and call him a woman

i don't know. please. i just feel so alone here. my dysphoria is real, it's just not as strong in that one place... please, god believe me. i'm a man. please.