Missing you dad

6 months and 16 days since you are gone. I would do anything to hear your voice and hug you one last time. I didn’t understand the phrase “a part of me died when you died” until I lost you. Not a part, all of me died the day you died. The sadness is mom’s eyes never leaves. The beep when you flatlined never leaves my mind. The house you build with your sweat and tears has to be sold cause the memories of this house are so unbearable for mom and me. We are moving cities cause everywhere we go we are reminded of you. Everywhere we look we are reminded of you. You never got to see me graduate, you’ll never get to see me get married or meet my kids. Who’ll walk me down the aisle? No one waits up for me when I come home late anymore to make sure I’m safe. You’d wait up even after a 13 hour work day for me even if it’s 4am. You’d be wrapped up in the blanket half passed out on the couch but you’d still wait up for me when I came home late. No one brings me cut up fruit when I’m studying. No one is there for me like you were. The couch seat you sat on has been dented in cause you sat on it so much. And every time I see it empty I cry. Your lunch box and water bottle from the day you died are still in the kitchen. We didn’t empty the water bottle or the lunch box, it’s still the same as the day you left us. I can’t hear the sound of an ambulance driving by without breaking down. You always called me your strongest soldier, but I’m lost and scared dad. Idk how to go on without you. I’m sorry I couldn’t be your strongest soldier for mom. She breaks down at the sound of your name. I know you’re not in pain anymore dad but I will carry this pain for the rest of my life. You never taught me how to live without you. I miss you dad. I will miss you forever dad until I see you again. I promise to be the best daughter for mom and make you proud up there. I love you.