"Apologizing isn't enough, you need to explain why you're sorry"

For the outermost ridiculous or/ justified(!) situations, nothing satiates the narcissist in terms of apologizing.

For me, my narc fiance is never satisfied with my apology when we casually fight (like forgetting to put the milk back in the fridge), or when there's an actual thing that I do in order to protect myself (for example, leaving the room/house/asking advice from a friend).

If my reactions to him are making him feel "attacked/ashamed/insecure"... I need to apologize, so I do-- to end the "fight".

Meanwhile, these are quotes by the narc in the midst of a "fight":

"Oh, so I'm to blame?! So why are you with me if I'm making you feel hurt all the time?"

"If I'm that bad of a person, I guess I'm toxic, so you shouldn't be with me."

Now, these "fights" can last between a few hours to weeks, where in this time my goal is to end the "fight" and he demands 'answers'/explanations from my side, perhaps to find justifications to his abusive reactions and make himself feel like I deserved "it".

So although I can find myself begging for my life with tears and asking him "please, please stop this", he presses me to explain in details "what am I sorry for", for this is conditional to end the fight, completely ignores the main thing that started all of this - himself.