Birth trauma - postpartum hemorrhage, long term effects, encouragement
I had a postpartum hemorrhage around 2 hours after delivering my baby. It was extremely traumatic. My partner was in the room with me, witnessing everything going down and got quite traumatized from this, and my baby was in the other end of the room getting examinations done. This is ended up being super long. It's been really cathartic and healing to finally tell my story on reddit and in efforts to slowly heal my trauma.
The key factors that I believe as to why I hemorrhaged are the following:
- I had a medical induction - had a placental chorioangioma which is a benign tumor on my placenta that would potentially take up space and cause oxygen and pressure issues for my baby so I got induced at 38 weeks
- During my induction, my doctor gave me many interventions to push along the labor... which in hindsight is what I suspect completely messed up my childbirth experience and led to the hemorrhage. In this specific order, I was given medication to soften my cervix, got on pitocin, got the epidural, had a foley bulb inserted, a doc broke my water with the crochet-looking hook. I also got a cervix check 4+ times. Heavy on the pitocin part, this probably really increased my chances of having a PPH
- I was laboring in bed for the most part because I had to get the epidural, and because of the epidural I wasn't able to eat and have supply energy to help me through my labor. I was also in labor for over 24 hours, which I've read that when laboring for long periods of time increases the chances of hemorrhaging unfortunately may increase.
- The postpartum nurses may not have been as careful when checking that all my caterers and fluids were properly draining postpartum. This may have been key to getting my uterus to start its shrinking process after delivering.
- After doing some research, apparently women of color, specifically African-American women and Asian women are more susceptible to postpartum hemorrhaging. I fall into this category which may add to why I had a postpartum hemorrhage.
I believe my uterus was not shrinking down as it should once my baby and placenta had been delivered, and if I'm not correct is called uterine atony. My nurse was giving me the fundal massage to help the uterus to shrink back and that is when I hemorrhaged. It was the scariest sensation I've ever felt in my life; I'm not used to going to and being in hospitals, never been in a big accident, never broken a bone, so childbirth alone was already very scary, (this was my first baby) despite all the research and mental prep, the hemorrhage was a terrifying sensation and experience. The JADA device saved me. But, the thing that was really awful was that when I was hemorrhaging, it was roughly 2-3 hours postpartum, and I had the epidural, so the epidural was wearing off and almost all the sensations were returning waist down. I had to get catheters and the JADA device placed in me without any anesthesia because the hemorrhage had happened so quickly and suddenly. The nurses said there was no time to get anything to numb the medieval-like pain and sensations. The nurses offered medical fentanyl to help distract me mentally, which was a little helpful to an extent, but I still remember everything. My blood pressure was declining and I remember feeling very dizzy and weak. After I received treatment to get stable, my husband, as much as he was with our new baby, was glued to my vitals monitor to check that my blood pressure was normalizing. I remember thinking that I was going to die because of all the crazy and painful sensations going on so quickly.
The catheter, that was supposed to empty my urine while I was on the epidural, was not draining properly during my postpartum hours leading up to the hemorrhage, which I recall, is what the nurses and doctors explained as a possible reason why the hemorrhage happened. Because my bladder was full and not draining properly, that took up space that the uterus muscles needed to shrink and drain itself...? I'm still confused as to what exactly was going on with my bladder and uterus after delivering but this is what I know and remember.
I found a few articles online that educated me more on the topic of postpartum hemorrhages to find comfort and some normality in my trauma. Apparently "postpartum hemorrhage (PPH) remains a leading cause of maternal morbidity and mortality with an increasing incidence in the U.S." (quoted from this https://www.ajog.org/article/S0002-9378(22)01902-0/fulltext). This other article is titled "3 Conditions to Watch for After Childbirth" and the three are:
- postpartum preeclampsia, a serious blood pressure disorder
- postpartum hemorrhage, heavy bleeding after delivery
- postpartum endometritis, an infection of the uterus
This experience was roughly 6 months ago and I just remember that I was extremely weak and got headaches at least a few times a week for the first 3 months postpartum. It was extremely hard to care for my newborn while I was undergoing so much recovery and repercussions from childbirth and the hemorrhage. Fast forward to current day, I am feeling a lot better, my strength has slowly returned and is still returning. I got in some exercise other than going for walks, for the first time around 4 months postpartum. I feel that I'm healing well and have been just taking it easy on my body and being very attentive to it.
Is there anyone else who has experienced something like this? Have there been any long-term effects (other than trauma) from your body having used the JADA device, or just hemorrhaging postpartum in general? This ended up being really long, so thanks to those who read until the end.
To any moms out there who have experienced PPH (postpartum hemorrhaging), I hope you know how strong you are, you're really fucking strong. Your body is capable of doing some pretty amazing things like creating a baby from scratch and then enduring childbirth AND a hemorrhage. I hope you're healing well and that its ok to still struggle with this trauma - the path to healing is not linear but you're doing it everyday and in every moment both big and small.