28F here love sadness and the endless spiral of never be able to finding the person

I am a 28 year old doctor just graduated mbbs . First of all i want to make clear that I don't want to introduce any gender stereotypes here . This is solely based on what i have seen in my life. To express my emotions its Hindi English mix I am an old school person I love dearly and also expect same from the other person . I consideryself selfless and pure at heart and this is what other people say about me too. But inspite of me giving 100% in my relationships i have 3 failed relationships in which in none of them i cheated or lack of effort or anything . The majority issue i understood was my expectations but when I discussed with my other friends they told they were pretty normal basic level . I suffered from depression since I entered college but yes as much as I don't expect anyone to have complete responsibility i expect that if he is free or could make himself free he can be there with me in my bad days . In today's relationships i never find that warmth and closeness one crave for . The soulmate thing in sickness and in health thing . The only answer I got as I asked multiple people reflected upon myself was that I chose the wrong people . I was there for them when they needed me through health conditions too sacrificed my time and my things . But when it came to me they would choose their sleep or friends over me . Never the less i have seen my female friends go through hard times and yes they not only dated doctors but friends of other profession too . At this point i can tell around 7 of my female friends are going through a hard time because of their partners none of them cheated and were 100% devoted to their partners . As I am bearing 30s i am so scared that what if I never found my love , the intimacy i crave for . I have got good looks and that I think is what attracts majority of males and in the starting they will be all lovey dovey but when the real things come that is when you have to face the raw version of each other like Bolte h naa jab asli pariksha ki baat aati h tb wo log waise nahi hote . Relationship ka mtlb sirf ghumna sex intimacy nahi hota its being for the other person through thick and thin aajkl log itna jaldi give up kar dete h . Its true relationship chalaane ke liye you have to give up a part of yourself . But esa lagta h aajkl koi apna gaming , sleep , friends kuch nahi chodhna chahta . Relationship demands sacrifice humesha aapka partner perfect nahi rahega uske bhi bure din aayenge . And yahi health condition aapke saath bhi ho sakti h kbhi bhi but no ladke ye baat nahi samjhate . Mn mess mn yahi overthink kar rahi thi and one of my friends was sitting in front of me She recently had her breakup from the person she loved so much . The guy broke up out of nowhere ki humaari shaadi nahi ho sakti blah blah i asked her kaisi h ? I just can't forget her face tears rolled down her face She said Yaar mn kitni bevkoof thi . I just couldn't say anything . It was so painful . There are numerous stories . One of my friends just preparing for pg realized and came to know that her boyfriend preparing for ias and together from around 5 years was cheating her from the starting . His friend told her with proofs . She was so much broken usko padhna bhi h kisi se kuch bol bhi nahi sakti . Exam ka pressure bhi h . Ladke toh nikal lete h . I agree ladkiyaan bhi esi hoti hongi but through my big circle and myself i have seen only boys doing this I have lost all my trust on boys but still my heart crave for that old school love , wo jo insta reels mn hota h , wo jaisa hum khud karna chahte h . And I am 28 this year i am so scared that the clock is ticking . I am a very emotional person and these thoughts daily kill me from inside