I don't think Joe Alwyn can drive
Based on Taylor's lyrics, his own words and the fact there doesn't seem to be an instance (unless i am mistaken) of him behind the wheel, I don't think Joe can drive. And I respect his passenger princess lifestyle.
(p.s this is all fun and games and I'm not hating on Joe, i just think this is really funny)
My evidence:
- "We can follow the spark, I'll drive"
- "All the boys and their expensive cars, with their range rovers and their jaguars never took me quite where you do"
- "We can go driving in on my scooter, just around London"
- "Show me a gray sky, a rainy cab ride"
- "Bad was the blood of the song in the cab on your first trip to L.A"
- "You squeezed my hand three times in the back of the taxi"
- "I want to drive away with you"
- "We were in the backseat, drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar"
- "I thought I saw you at the bus stop"
- "She said James get in, lets drive"/ "Remember when I pulled up and said get in the car"
From these lyrics, Joe is either being driven by Taylor, in a cab, on a scooter or waiting for the bus. What I thought was funny about the James/august thing is that James wasn't the one driving.
More evidence:
- In the GQ interview, Joe says a bike is essential for him, as other than taking the bus, walking, or taking the tube, he'll opt for the bike. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxVw_2JWVEk&ab_channel=BritishGQ
- The video in Miss Americana where Joe is videoing Taylor whilst she is driving https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyOifjqw5Wc&ab_channel=Taylor%E2%80%99svibes
- There is not ONE picture of him driving that exists that I can find.
Conclusion:
I don't think Joe can drive. He seems like he'd be the pretentious art boy type that doesn't want to drive to be more green. Taylor mentions herself driving a LOT in her songs ("I parked my car right between the Methodist"/"Pulled the car off the road"/"I'LL DRIVE"), and in her previous relationships, she always wrote about them driving, albeit not very well ("You almost ran the red"/ "remember when you hit the brakes too soon?")
I rest my case. Unless presented with evidence to prove otherwise, it hereby stands that Joe Alwyn cannot drive. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.