I want a divorce so badly it's killing me

I made an account because I use reddit regularly and don't want this connected to me. Me (23f) and my husband (30m) have current be together for 7 years. We met when I was a minor and he was a legal adult. I won't get too much into that but we married as soon as I turned 18.

Im so tired of being married to this man. I want a divorce so badly. I hate him. Physically hate him. I have been repeatedly sexually assaulted by my husband over the course of us knowing each other. I have been physically assaulted by him. He is a sex addict and doesn't understood the word no. I have done wrong in this relationship too I will not try to hide it. I have hit him back, I have bruised him. But I cannot stomach another second of being attached to this person. He is so vile.

I have tried and tried but if I could go back into time I would and tell younger me to never ever ever encounter that man. That sick sick man. I have by no means been perfect, but he uses that as a way to victimize himself. It's always "woman this" "woman that" "sexist joke" "rape joke" "woman are so (string of dérogation terms)". We can't speak like adults. All this grown man wants is sex 25/8 and the thought of being touched by him makes me want to physique recoil.

When he doesn't get his way immediately he results to name calling, verbal and physical abuse, and then coercion followed by love bombing. I don't know how much more of this I can take. But unfortunately he holds the keys here. I have never been allowed to get a job, he convinced me to drop out, I have no money or any way to get away. Thankfully we don't have kids but it seems to me like he is about to start pushing that too.

I just want to leave but I can't right now and im so tired of it. I just needed to get all of this off my chest because if I don't im going to explode.