God I miss you

I just miss you so much. Tonight I cried suddenly because it hit me like a ton of bricks. I miss you. I miss your presence. I’m navigating life being single and meeting all these people but it feels chaotic and uncertain and not exciting. I miss the peace I felt in my heart with you. I miss your songs. I miss your quiet love. I miss my hand between your legs while I drove. I miss your safety and your comfort and your warmth. I miss your pensive stare. I miss watching nature with you. I miss you so much Alex. Idek what I’m doing anymore. Why did you have to leave me? Why did I have to feel a need to block you?