I fucking hate my autism.

What I mostly hate about it is the fact I grew up being mentally challenged. I had to be put in special ed schools throughout my life because of my intellectual limitations I've had. I'm 20 years old now and have very flat academic background, I can't do stuff like write essays, don't know jack shit about science, biology, chemistry, etc, and barely know any algebra mostly cuz these special ed schools I was in didn't teach me.

I've always had lot of learning challenges because of this problem.

I wish I was born as a high functioning autism where I wouldn't have had to deal with my learning difficulties cuz of my limited intellect, I always feel so much bitter and angry every time i see autistic people who were actually gifted in school.