What RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) triggers have you never mentioned to anyone?
Firstly I should clarify that I'm not 100% convinced that RSD isn't just a perfectly natural trauma response to an excess of actual rejection in one's formative years.
But also I (late diagnosed ADHD-C) have noticed that some social triggers can make me spiral.
One I never talk about, but often wonder about, is when someone I'm close to speaks to me in a tone I know they only use on strangers, or people they need to be polite to.
It's hard to explain, but... you know how with a partner or a friend you grew up with, you immediately know the "voice" they use with strangers, someone else's parents, an angry neighbour.
I've been in a few situations where I've met up with an ex , or old friend I haven't seen for a while, and they've spoken to me like that.
And I've just found it so sad.
Not because I've wanted to get back with them (often it's been someone I've broken up with myself).
But for some reason I just find this renewed formality in their voice so jarring and saddening.
Worse still is finding yourself spoken to in what you recognise as their "talking to a crazy person" voice. That's happened a couple of times, and it's sort of destroyed me.
It's hard to really pick apart why.
In both cases it's felt more like a piece of my past has been destroyed (rather than being about our relationship in the present tense).
Once or twice partners have started using their "polite" tone with me while I've still been in the relationship, and that's been my first clue that we're on the outs.
ANYWAY.
All of this is to say that I'm now married, with kids, and a small group of close friends (and a wider group of friendly acquaintances).
But I'm exceptionally sensitive to the "stranger voice" thing. And if I feel like my spouse is using it, or one of my close friends, I can spiral really badly.
(Privately, this is. I don't get mad; I get small and low self-esteemy)
And I'm beginning to realise that's a major RSD trigger for me. I'm starting to be able to see the signs, ride out the emotion, and wait and see what happens.
Apologies for the length of this -- I've never tried to communicate this issue outside of my own noggin.
But can anyone relate?
(Edited for clarity)