What are the dumbest things you've heard someone say in the Army?

I'm curious as to the *dumbest* statements you've heard uttered by human beings in the Army. I'll go first, with a few ice breakers:

  1. "Sergeant, I can't make formation because I have to get my HIV immunization shot today" (2011, JBER)
  2. "I thought it was an *homage* to my last unit..." (E5 in 2016, Yongsan, upon moving their Leonard Wood patch from their left to right arm to make room for the Eighth Army patch. The Leonard Wood unit does not deploy)
  3. I was at the recruiters in 2010, getting my contract set up to enlist, and the recruiter goes "SSG Jones, my com-pyuutuh is being homo-sexually gay -- could you please help this guy out with his contract?"
  4. "Men, pick up every trash!" DS at OSUT, Benning, 2010
  5. "Drill Sergeant, it's not too big, it's just dirty" (IET SPC in 2013 upon being told her ACU top was too large.)
  6. "Yeah but it's that dry humidity though" (SPC describing JBLM, in 2014)
  7. "Derr-kuh Derr-kuh!" (Civilian staff at JRTC "acting" as Afghans 2011.)
  8. "The sun is much more powerful here because we are significantly closer to it" (reception company SGT at Ft. Carson, 2016)
  9. "Sergeant, no courses appear when I search 'correspondence course' in SkillPort" (SPC in Yongsan, 2016, we ordered to take correspondence courses)
  10. During the patrol exercise at BLC, a SPC was briefing the next movement for her turn as the squad leader and her M4 discharges a blank mid-sentence. She looked at it, looked at the SGL, and goes "I just constantly depress the trigger to make sure the safety is on", and then continued briefing.

Curious to read what else is out there.