Getting discouraged as a paladin tank in classic

Looking for some guidance from other tanks maybe. I've tanked paladin in retail for like 10 years. This is my first first into late game Vanilla.

11/31/7 talents running holy shield. Pretty well geared with SFS, Stockade Pauldrons, Boots of Avoidance, Naglering, and other defense pieces.

Beening running a lot of BRD lately farming for that Naglering. First issue I ran into was a 4 man guild group that asked me to tank. It went fine but the priest healer kept needing every drop to vendor. I brought it up and he said it was his guild run and I wasn't a "real" tank because I took too much damage. Made fun of my health on Golem as I took a lot of damage.

Tried to do Emp on another run. Was lvl 56 and just immediately got crushed so we disbanded. Group said they've never seen a pally be able to tank him.

Finally today. Im now 58. Group asks me to tank Scholo. We get to the room with the first deed and DPS is pulling threat left and right. Immediately engaging when I pull. We wipe with like 7 mobs and mage dps whispers me to tell me what a shitty tank I am.

I'm really trying to be successful but just getting shit on left and right is discouraging. People are so hateful in this game and it feels like tanks get the blame.