He told me he wanted something serious, yet lost feelings after sex.

It’s been 5 days since I(20F) got dumped; he(20M) told me he didn’t see us together for long and wanted to break up. I asked if he lost interest, he told me he lost feelings for me a week & a half ago, which makes it the day after we had sex at my place.

I met him in my Intro to Neuroscience class, thought he was really cute, and asked for his number after class. He freaked out, telling me how it was his first time being asked out and how pretty I was. Icebreakers over text was marvellous- we came from really similar backgrounds, it was to the point he’d tell me I was basically him as a woman. We agreed to grab boba after class the following Monday, and he was eager to establish our relationship right off the bat. He told me how he was a hopeless romantic, wanting to date to marry, was excited to get to know me, and expected both of us to grow in the relationship. Since his values aligned with mine, so we agreed to be exclusive on our first date.

We kissed and made out in his car on the first date, and got risky the day after. He asked me to be his first, I let him pump inside me a bit until he got soft. Felt really comfortable around him— we exchanged dirty jokes at each other, make out after class, he told me stuff like how he got hard sometimes from just looking at me, smelling my perfume turned him on, he’d move my hips to grind into me as I sat on his lap in the backseat. But he would also show affection outside sexual boundaries- he’d shower me with compliments, show me off to his friends at campus, introduced me to his sister, tell me how much he loved me, couldn’t wait to live with me, and start a family with me. I’d tell him how much I loved him back, told my parents over the phone abt how happy he made me, promised him I will always be there for him no matter how abrupt when he asked to meet me after he got chewed out by his mum for oversleeping.

Then two weeks ago, my landlords were away, so I invited him over to my place to have some time to ourselves & watch a film with me. He also wanted to cook supper together. Initially, he had difficulty getting it up but managed to and I had the best sex of my life, he kept asking for additional rounds after supper and we fucked once more right before he left.

Since then, he became distant, didn’t go out of his way to call or text me as much, looked tired and wanted to go home whenever I was with him. When I told him what didn’t sit right with me, he told me he spoiled me too much by spending time with me Mon-Thurs, and wanted to take things slow- that the relationship got sexual too quickly for his liking. I thought maybe he needed some space, tried my best not to be clingy by diverting attention to my assignments or talking to my friends more.. I guess it wasn’t enough.

I skipped neuro last Wednesday bc I felt like crap (I got victim blamed at the local police dept the day before while trying to file a report for stalking), seeing that, he asked if I was okay, I told him no. I broke down telling him what happened and how I wanted to talk to him yesterday evening but unsent the text bc I didn’t want to bother him when he’s always gaming or sleeping— ultimately too busy for me. I asked what was I to him— I told him I was his girlfriend, not someone he can just push back and come back to whenever convenient or when he felt like sparing some of his time. That although I got the flight instinct and considered giving it all up, I wanted to make us work, so that’s why I was telling him this. He sighed and the rest is history. I told him okay, hung up, and now he’s blocked everywhere.

I know he’s the asshole, but I’m constantly looking for what’s wrong with me. I feel so betrayed, robbed, confused, dumb, and used— I just can’t wrap my head around how you can tell someone you're serious first, tell them you love them, then instantly lose feelings after sex. Someone just please help omfg