I don't get Dwarf Fortress

I love this kind of game. I have 4,000 hours in oxygen not included. I have about a thousand hours in factorio, open ttd, and Timberborn each. I have a decent handle on Prison Architect, City Skylines II, and a slew of classic tycoon and colony Sim games. In spite of all that after 100 hours in Dwarf Fortress I don't feel like I get this game. I play for a while, I make and trade goods, I build rooms and do my best to satisfy my residents demands, then something randomly decimates my fortress and I start over. What am I missing? Is there something I can read or watch to help me understand how to pay DF? I want to love this game.