FFXIV addiction, quitting the game

I'm not even sure why I'm posting this but I guess I just need some sympathy or advice from people who have gone through something similar. I decided to quit the game but not because I hate it or I'm tired of it, it's because I've been gradually developing an addiction to the point it had started to affect my life. I'm not precisely young and I'm in a life situation where I need to put on a lot of work in some areas if I want to change the life I have now. I'm currently studying to get a degree and also trying to become a freelancer, but lately I had been spending some of the time I should have devoted to those things on playing FFXIV instead. And not only that but when I wasn't playing I was also thinking about the game or feeling an urge to play, which made it difficult to focus on other things...

The worst part is I know exactly how this happens but I haven't been able to prevent it. Over the past few years FFXIV has become my main source of positive feelings and the one reliable way to feel a sense of reward in my daily life. Everything else feels hard, exhausting... I moved far from family and friends and tried to build connections here, but this is a small town and I’ve found it impossible to meet like-minded people. I think I’ve given up on that now, which I guess is part of why I'm starting to feel so desperate to return to my city, and why I need to focus on my goals. I can't go back unless I meet those goals, due to certain personal circumstances. So if real life is just about feeling pressured by time, chasing goals, and there's nothing I enjoy... That's when my problem with FFXIV starts. It just feels good to log in and do things there. It feels comfortable, peaceful, safe... Although lately I had started to feel guilt and a little self-loathing, which set off alarms for me and made me realize I needed to do something about it.

At first I considered taking a small break, but I already tried that last September and it only seemed to work for maybe a couple of weeks before it started getting worse again. So I finally decided to quit cold turkey and yesterday was my last day of sub. I spent most of it playing and crying so hard at times I couldn't even breath, which maybe confirms that quitting is the right decision... I spent the last moments with my WoL at Amaurot, one of the places I find most relaxing, and I left her there.

I went to bed crying and today I woke up crying. When I took the decision to quit I didn't think it was going to affect me this much... Maybe I should give it some time and it will get better on its own, but I keep wondering if this is truly the best solution or if I’m being too drastic removing my main source of enjoyment from my daily life with no visible alternatives...

Anyway, thanks to whoever reads this. If anyone has been in a similar situation I'd appreciate if they could share their story, at least it will make me feel less lonely lol And if they quit and then went back to the game how did it go for them... It makes me so sad to think maybe I should never play this game again...

If there are others like me maybe we could create a support group or something lol

Edit: Thank you so much for all the kind and caring responses, I really appreciate everyone who is taking the time to try to help ❤️