Clones 2024: a review of a few months of irresponsible financial decisions

It was the perfect storm: enjoying smelling good and being a sucker for a deal. This community led me to purchase things that I'd never have considered, and I don't have many regrets, but I really need to not buy anything else for a long while. I bought way more full bottles than I should have as decants are slightly harder to get my hands on. Thank you all for fuelling a new ADHD obsessive fire, my bank account is furious.

As repayment, here's everything I bought this past year, briefly reviewed, and then sorted into Hogwarts houses because I did that for two of them and then I challenged myself to do it for all of them:

Dossier

Powdery Tobacco – 1:1 on Tobacco Vanille. It's so dense that I can't spray it on my chest. I have to spray on the back of my neck to avoid being sick of it by the end of the night. Still, a terrific scent and matched super close to the original.
Proud, loud, popular, if a bit over the top: Gryffindor! 8/10

Woody Chestnut – Really comforting, sweet scent, great take on BTFP. The smokiness is there but definitely not overwhelming (I could do with a touch more), seems very hard to hate, but maybe not everybody will love it. It's a very easy wear for me.
Pairs well with a good book: Ravenclaw. 8/10

Woody Tobacco – Nice scent, not-as-nice performance, a good rep for Jazz Club. I find myself wanting more from this. Grown up tobacco, boozy, if it projected better I'd wear it a lot more often.
Ravenclaw. 7.5/10

Ambery Saffron – I guess I'm one of the people who can't smell the stuff that everybody else smells in BR540. I don't get burnt sugar, or jam, or anything that I'd call "sweet". I do get a weird, hard-to-describe chemical/hormonal scent that I can't put my finger on – but I also can't stop smelling it when I wear it. Haven't worn it out enough to get opinions from others.
There's an appeal to some people, I assume: Hufflepuff. 6/10

Woody Green Apple – Fairly straightforward, I don't get a lot of depth. I do get Sweetarts, the candy. It's a One Million dupe, and it probably sounds like I don't like it but I do. It's a fun scent, and good for spring/summer. Fresh, sweet, playful, easy to wear.
Hard to hate: Gryffindor. 7.5/10

Fougere Oud – The clear winner in my Dossier dossier. A take on Oud Wood, this has a coldness to it that I find really intriguing, it's a little mysterious. It performs, it projects, it's mature, it works well with my skin, and it gets compliments.
Dark and alluring: Slytherin. 9.5/10

Lattafa (you know, I didn't realize how many of theirs I bought until I wrote this out and holy shit that's too many)

Khamrah Qahwa – Out of all the massively overhyped fragrances I bought, this one actually hits the mark. The smell is the warmest hug from somebody wearing the softest sweater. It smells edible, and if I didn't know better, I'd spray it on my tongue. Crazy cozy, cannot imagine nor recommend somebody wearing it in weather above 10ºC.
For the gourmand factor alone...Hufflepuff. 9/10

Jean Lowe Immortel – Another winner from Lattafa. A little fruity, a little soapy, a little sweet. Outstanding for warm weather and when you need to smell clean. This is an easy go-to and will probably be a daily driver in warm weather.
Easy to like: Gryffindor. 8/10

Opulence Leather – I really didn't need this bottle as I've got Rare Carbon, but it was like $25 CAD. This is not a scent for boys. I find the leather dries down a little more subdued than RC, it becomes something more delicate. Still, it's got a lot of personality and leather is not something everybody can pull off in every setting.
Up to no good: Slytherin. 7/10

Salvo Intense – This stuff is fairly middle of the road. There's a meatiness to it that I can't describe properly, and it's not too unique, but that's probably a good thing. Too many other good options to think I'd buy this again.
Muggle. 5/10

Winsome/The Tux – It does smell fancy, I don't feel right wearing this on any occasion that doesn't call for at least a dress shirt. However, it's not the richest scent, and I'd say it's a bit flat. You'll fit in, not stand out.
A bit too sweet to be taken seriously: Hufflepuff. 6/10

Ameer Al Oudh Intense – Don't let anybody tell you this is an accurate BTFP clone. It isn't. This bottle is weird. Some days it's a really pleasant bit of smoky vanilla with some middle eastern flair. Other days it smells exactly like a puffer/inhaler that asthmatics use (it isn't a pleasant smell). I thought it would go away with (here we go) masturbation but it's still hit or miss.
A Weasley cousin who can't get admitted to Hogwarts. 4.5/10 (2 on a bad day, 7 on a good day)

Teriaq – Buying this was probably a mistake, because after reading the notes, I'm pretty sure I wanted to buy Teriaq Intense. However, it turns out that this was a happy accident. I love it. It skews VERY feminine on fragrantica but don't let that scare you off if you're a guy. This perfumer's resume is very impressive (he did a ton of the JPG stuff). Great purchase.
Hufflepuff. 8/10

Hercules – This doesn't get the attention it deserves, but it's not a showstopper. I think I'll reach for this one often enough in colder weather. It's not a dominating scent, just something cozy and sweet. Not for anybody who needs their scents to be on the ultimate macho he-man side of things.
Identical twins were sorted into Gryffindor and Hufflepuff and they sometimes switch places. 8/10

Oud For Glory – It's a terrific scent, but it shouldn't be as popular as it is. It's a dry, strong, mature, powerful fragrance that would be really overdoing it in a lot of situations. It would seem weird on anybody who doesn't have a few greys.
Without a doubt, Slytherin. 7/10

Qaed Al Fursan – Even though it's a decant, I regret buying this one. I don't enjoy the dominant pineapple and that's basically all there is to this one. I also found it incredibly persistent, I could still smell it after a shower and some intentional scrubbing.
Hufflepuff. 3.5/10

Liam Grey – I wasn't sure about it at first, but it's growing on me. That tea note isn't found in a lot of the clones and it's one that I like. Distinct, well blended, grown up but playful. Reminds me a lot of Floraiku scents (not any one in particular, but it would fit into their lineup well).
Ravenclaw. 8.5/10

Eternal Oud – Big big win on this one, it's a decant that I would happily purchase a full bottle of. Lives up to the Grand Soir likeness as I find myself wanting to reach for this on a big night – parties, celebrations, happy times. I wore it on NYE and that was perfect.
Gryffindor. 9/10

Vintage Radio – Okay, I gave into the hype and got this on Boxing Day so it hasn't (can't believe I'm about to say this again) masturbated properly. As of today, I find it a little more delicate than I was hoping. The way the woodiness is talked about, I was hoping for something a bit more rich in the low end. I can't rate it yet, I'll see about updating this in a few weeks. I can tell you I don't love the atomizer though.
So far, Hufflepuff.

Rasasi

Egra – A clean, green blast from the past. It's strong, it's masculine, but it won't set you apart. Very close to Cool Water, no experience with GIT so I can't say much there. Annoying cap that opens like a lighter. Quality is there (Rasasi seems dependable in that respect), strength is there, it's just not one I'll reach for often.
Hogwarts called in a muggle to teach phys ed. 5/10

Fattan – I wish this had more of the rich bottom end and less of the fresh top notes. The underlying memory of TDH is there, but it also smells incredibly similar to Comet) and that doesn't spoil it entirely but it doesn't get me as excited to wear it.
Gryffindor. 6.5/10

Afnan

Rare Carbon – Hell yeah. This is good stuff. Strong leather, and that raspberry note makes me appreciate this one well above Opulence Leather. Is it a more accurate dupe? Maybe not, but I have a strong preference for RC. Not an everyday fragrance though. Layers with Fougere Oud surprisingly well, given that they both have so much personality.
Slytherin. 9/10

Sharaf Blend – This is also a winner. Plenty of similarities to Khamra Qahwa but I wouldn't hesitate to buy a full bottle for the right price since it feels a little less sweet. A great blend of spices and booze.
Hufflepuff (could have easily gone Gryffindor though). 8.5/10

Supremacy Not Only Intense – It's fine. I don't think the scent profile is for me. Pineapple just isn't something I want to smell like, I guess. I can't see this being the compliment-getter that everybody claims it is, but it's not the right season to wear it out so I don't have evidence to back up that claim. I don't love it.
The dank oakmoss gives it enough goth vibes for Slytherin. 5.5/10

Turathi Blue – A really solid fresh scent. It's sweeter than some freshies. I know grapefruit is the marquee note but I get a lot of lemongrass, which is a scent I absolutely love. This is a decant, I could definitely see myself picking up a full bottle for hot weather.
A student from Maldives that got sorted into Ravenclaw. 8/10

Mixed bag

Armaf Legesi – For me, a far superior freshie compared to Egra. Gives me that fancy barbershop feeling, classic shave cream that they haven't made for 50 years kind of vibe. Interestingly, another annoying bottle design with a hinged lid that opens like a lighter. Excited to wear this in the summer (although it also works at the gym).
Ravenclaw. 8/10

Al Haramain Detour Noir – I have a hard time believing that either a) this is as good a replica as people say it is, or that b) PDM gets away with charging crazy prices for a bottle of vanilla extract. Sure, okay, it isn't THAT one-dimensional, but I find it pretty boring on its own. Fine, inoffensive, not worth the hype.
Hufflepuff. 6.5/10

Fragrance World Mocha Wood – This one is a disappointment. I thought I was getting a sleeper hit after reading a few bits of praise for it, but there's a menthol note that dominates over any subtlety in this bottle. I haven't seen anybody else talk about it, but taking a whiff of this cools my sinuses. It's sweet-ish, flat, I sometimes wear it around the house or spray it instead of deodorant. Nothing to write home about, one of my regrettable buys.
Muggle. 3.5/10

French Avenue Liquid Brun – This is what everybody's so fired up about? This smells like a scented marker that I had when I was 7 or 8. Okay, that's harsh. I like it, but again, if PDM is charging what they do for Althair and it smells like this, I need to start getting into the luxury perfume business. In no way do I think this is worth the hype.
Gryffindor. 6.5/10

Bentley For Men Intense – The way people write about this one, I thought I was going to grow a second beard. So much talk about how masculine it is, how strong, how polarizing... There is a lot of nuance and balance here. Yes, it's a manly scent, but the layers of bergamot and patchouli really work to smooth everything out. It's rich, it's not for kids, but it's not some monster fragrance reserved for 6'8" yacht owners over 55.
Ravenclaw. 8.5/10

I'm not taking a photo. There's no display case. It's what's on the inside that counts.