He keeps coming back

Does it really mean anything when a guy you have known for 4 years (basically putting you in to a weird situationship) ghosts you for roughly a month every lets say 6-8 months, but always comes back. I have forgave him in the past and I am so pissed off at him this time. He never has put in any kind of effort on his end. Only has ever bought me a single rose that always dies a few days later. The only reason I kept him on my mind and not blocked him is because I am way too attached and dont know how to detach myself from him. Hes the one who always ghosts and then comes back with some lame ass excuse like "sorry my phone was broke, or something was wrong with my messages". Like come on dude seriously???? Im not stupid, no one goes without their phone for more than a day. And besides the fact that its been 2 or 3 weeks and no word but yeah tell me another lie.

Now this time around he ghosted back at the end of October I came down with some bad stomach virus could barley function for a week plus my period had come a few days early. Told him about it. And of course did hear anything from him for about 2 weeks. I just left it as what it was. Well when a month had passed I knew I was getting ghosted yet again. Starting feeling sorry for myself and asking why am I not good enough for him. I couldnt hold it anymore so I start texting him asking he whats up? Not everyday but a few days. Just to see if i could get his attention but sadly nothing.

I am trying to just move on because i know it will be no use in trying anymore. Go on a few dates trying to get my mind off him and maybe actually start getting treated by someone who knows my worth. But of course they too ghost. Maybe I am just not ment to be with anyone.

Well here comes casper the friendly ghost hitting me up last night. Saying "Im so sorry babe, I have been going though shit, Im sorry".

So you put me though shit because you didnt want to be honest with me and let me in? Making me think You just threw me aside like garbage.

I havent texted him back as of right now. Because I dont think i can be forgiving and nice this time around.

But in all I dont know what to do or think. He ghosts me then comes back. I of course forgive why???? I really have no fucking clue. Why have I attached myself to someone who wouldnt come to my funeral if I was to leave this earth??? And why is it killing me not texting him back.

I have the gut feeling that hes been seeing another girl. And knowing him he was prob doing her like he did me didnt treat her the way she wanted so she left him. Which makes since. Nothing really surprises me with him anymore.

I dont think i want to waste another year with him. Nor should i have to. He is prob standing in the way of the one I am really supposed to be with.