Waiting

For anyone wanting refrence, the husband of a friend of mine in Canada wanted PAS for gastric cancer (same thing my husband down here in the States died from). She texted me telling me she would kill herself if they went through with it. I feel the same way, though I will not kill myself since I have children. Anyway, she called me today and told me he's scheduled for January 6. And unbeknowst to him or the physicians killing him, so is she. So...this is anticapatory grief on my behalf. I've been having urges to stop her, but for what? I've lost my husband too. I know what it's like.

Feeling very anxious. Nauseous. Christmas was so hard.