Please Help Me

TW: Suicidal Thoughts

I can’t keep doing this. I’ve gotten to the point of considering taking my own life now. This is such a miserable way to live. Countless tests and they all come back normal. Countless doctors not believing me and telling me there’s nothing wrong. Even my own family has stopped believing me after all of the doctors say nothing is wrong with me. I’ve only been formally diagnosed with IBS from one, and after learning an IBS diagnosis is just basically a professional “I don’t know”, it doesn’t even matter now. I’m posting on reddit to see if anybody can help.

22F. I’ve had this my entire life. It started off as IBS-C. I’d go weeks without using the bathroom, and then have EXTREME stomach pain. It wasn’t too bad growing up as I could get 2-3 meals a day, and only have a flare up once or twice a week. Even then the pain would only last until I used the bathroom, then I was fine.

Recently, I don’t know if its stress or what, it has gotten worse. When I was 20, the flare ups would last for days. I wouldn’t be able to eat anything without being in pain. I just stopped eating altogether since the pain was so unbearable. Landed me in the hospital for malnutrition, obviously. And even then THEY SWORE NOTHING WAS WRONG. But luckily even then, after a few days I’d be good to go for another month ish until the next one happened.

A few weeks ago I saw a doctor that said the first step was getting me regular. I started taking miralax and to my surprised it worked. Got me going every few days. I don’t know if it was too much for me though, because now I’ve had diarrhea for 3 weeks straight. Anything I eat comes right back out. That’s not even the worst part though. I don’t care if I have to use the bathroom 30 times a day for the rest of my life. Its the PAIN. The pain is debilitating, it is so unbearable. I always end up crying, nauseated, sweating. I don’t even care about getting my bowel movements normal. I just want the pain to stop.

Even my safe foods are causing me pain. The only thing I can keep in me and that doesnt cause me extreme pain is soup, maybe a couple of saltines, and those cup mashed potatoes.

I’ve tried prescription meds, i’ve tried probiotics, I’ve done a colonoscopy. Painkillers don’t stop the pain at all. Pepto works sometimes, Weed used to be a sure thing for me to not be in pain until recently, it has either stopped working or the pain has gotten so severe that I feel it right through the weed.

And the pain, it comes in waves. Every 10-30 minutes for hours and hours. When the diarrhea comes out it does lessen the pain, but it doesn’t completely go away.

If anybody has had a similar situation and has found a solution for your pain please, help me.

TLDR; IBS pain is making my life miserable, looking for anything to stop it because painkillers don’t work.