How Can I Feel Okay Without Friends?

how can i feel okay without friends? its all ive ever wanted. i feel like i cannot be happy without it like i dont want to live unless i have friends. i started realizing that things come into your life when you dont want it. BUT its all i want!!!!! i want friends and i feel like i need them. a week ago i made an online friend and we had a good chat and during that time i was scared of dying!!! i didnt wanna die and i wanted to live and be happy and chat with my new friend!!!!!!!!!. we talked for 9 hours until he unfriended me after seeing my face. (he was in the looksmaxxing com, im guessing it was because my face didnt match the standard of it.) fuck im so sad. im super introverted and cannot speak up irl to make school friends because i have spent 2 years in complete isolation from friends due to my insecurities. now im trying to be better and make new friends but am i just too late? i dont know. i need advice i want advice i dont know what to do everyday i want to disappear!!!!!!!!