A LONG journey to fluency— feeling discouraged.

Hi, I'm mostly just looking for support and also any helpful tips, but all types of comments are welcome (as long as they're not mean, of course.)

I started learning my second language (ASL) 8 years ago by taking a beginner class in college. Over the last 8 years, I have taken classes regularly (1-2 six week classes a year for 3hrs/week) but not consistently, meaning I have never gone LONG periods without taking a class, but I definitely will take up to 6 months or possibly more between classes. All of my teachers have been Deaf, native speakers. Unfortunately there is not the option for a formal education in this language in the city that I live in, all of the classes are one-off. I hope to one day study to be an interpreter, but I will have to move away to do so. This goal will obviously require a high level of fluency.

I have only recently (in the past 2 years) started immersing myself in the Deaf community by going to events and I've done a small amount of 1:1 tutoring which is immensely helpful, but very expensive. This has definitely improved my skills, but I am still only about a B1 level, maybe B2 on a good day or if I'm conversing with someone I'm very comfortable with and know their style. I understand about 90% of what's happening when I'm watching the news in ASL, less if it's a complex or deeply political/idealogical topic. However, I often feel completely and utterly lost at events and when I'm trying my skills in the "real world". Native speakers are signing a million miles a minute and even if I ask them to slow down, I still don't understand particularly if I haven't signed at length with them before. I've realized it makes a huge difference for me if I'm comfortable with someones dialect and also if I'm comfortable with them in general, because when I feel awkward or embarrassed then my language skills truly evaporate.

My self confidence has been LOW recently in regards to my language skills. After 8 years, I feel like I should be leagues ahead of where I am, but I also realize I did not start conversing with native speakers other than my teachers until 6 years into starting, and I was not dedicated to consistency in my learning.

So I guess what I want feedback on is: am I doing ok here? Have other people taken many, many years to get to a high level? Also, are other people truly bad at their target languages when they feel overwhelmed in social situations? Because my brain feels like it turns off from the mix of social anxiety and language anxiety at events where I'm immersed. I am desperate to achieve fluency, but I feel nowhere near it and it's very discouraging. Also, my progress feels so non-linear. Some days I feel great about it and then I feel soooo bad other days.

IS IT NORMAL TO FEEL SO DOWN ON MYSELF FOR WHERE I AM IN MY LEARNING JOURNEY? I feel like I'll never achieve fluency, and it's the worst feeling. I also feel like people must think I'm really bad when they sign with me at events, and wonder why I'm not better after all this time. This is the only language I've ever tried to learn outside of English so I'm not familiar with what the language learning journey usually looks at.

Thanks for reading and offering any feedback/helpful words of encouragement!! If you're on the road to fluency and feeling super stuck like me, please comment.