Loneliness is killing me

I posted this on r/vent but no one commented. I thought I was over reacting, but I can't take this anymore. I just want someone to talk to. Not about the weather. Just something. 

Lately my parents are asking me "when are you going to get married if you're staying home like this?" or "go socialize, you're this age and you don't have anyone to hang out with". Their comments enraged me so much not because of their bluntless, mainly because of their ignorance to some factors.

I grew up moving a lot because of my parent's ambitions, and that taught me to detach from relationships pretty quickly. Didn't help that they were overprotective too. I will always remember how they monitored the amount of time I spent with my school friends and occasionally filled my mind with comments like "your friends don't have big dreams. Why are you even hanging out with them?" for YEARS. For the longest time, I was hyper-vigilant around them. I hid a lot of myself from them, including my thoughts and emotions, scared of being criticized. And because of that, I learned to deal a lot of matters on my own. You could say I was the only friend I had, to talk to, and although that sounds like a good thing, and I value my independence, the loneliness is catching up to me despite myself trying to convince that being alone is okay. With this raised mindset of "surround yourself with successful people" and "choose someone who is rich, handsome, and tall (insert other stereotypical traits)", I can't help but feel anxious whenever I'm connecting with someone. It feels like there is this constant checklist that persists and if I don't follow it, my life is doomed. I'm also terrified of uintentionally ending up with toxic people, after hearing many stories about those scenarios.

I'm aware of my weaknesses and the cause of them, yet I don't feel as if I won half the battle. I want things to get better, but I'm so terrified of the world. I'm not sure how things can get better from here. Sometimes I just wanna cover my ears and numb the pain with escapism but deep down, I know this will all catch up to me.If you made it to the end, I thank you. If there's something wrong with me, please say so. I just want to know where to start. It's been overwhelming.