Do you enjoy life while trying to lose weight?

I make motivational pinterest boards, and spend so much time researching weight loss methods and success stories. I have a simple skincare routine but I like to read what people are using. I spend most of my time online (Reddit, Pinterest, X, Snapchat) I have no friends and try to enjoy life as it comes. I don't go out at all. I thought of going to a cafe alone yesterday morning then changed my mind.

Sometimes I feel that my life is yet to begin. I fantasize about what life will be like when I reach my goal weight. It's hard for me to wear the clothes I like (specially that my body is flappy and not toned). I plan on going out more (even alone) when I reach my goal weight. There's a constant feeling of "I'm not there yet" and I have an all or nothing mentality.

Sometimes I buy into extreme diets (less than 900 cal) and can't do it for more than a day. Don't worry about that I've never been successful and now I eat around 1200 cal a day. I'm 154 cm.

I can't go to the gym for personal reasons and I don't find myself enjoying the process of losing weight specially that it's been too slow, so there isn't an instant result.

What is your experience with this? Are you happy? Do you enjoy losing weight?