Venting: I got called out in front of 100 people

Hey, this is kind of going to be medium long.

I(22F) went to a wedding yesterday. I was a bridesmaid. Culturally, we have a dowry ceremony first which was yesterday. In that ceremony, there’s a segment where the groom has to pick the bride out of a line up of women covered head to toe. Ideally, the line up has to be women of similar build and height to throw him off. There are fines starting off at $200 per wrong pick so understandably, the pressure is high.

The groom is my cousin and he almost got it wrong in the first round. So to ‘help’ him out, they put me in the next line up. Now here’s the title. As I came out in the line up, the crowd first laughed the MC told my cousin “They think you’re an idiot!😂You can’t even carry that one”. That’s a paraphrased translation as the literal one had a double entendre and local slang but you get the gist.

Now, ofc I just blocked it out and laughed it off under the coverings but I’ve never been so grateful to have had my face covered. To add fire to the flame, my cousin come up to me (I’m sure he knew I was under there) and said “Darling you’ve become so big” like he was talking to his bride as a joke. I brushed that off too. Remember that this is in front of 100 people.

All that’s finished and I’m sitting in the car when my sister (11F) comes in with a friend. The friend is surprised to hear I’m her sister because she thought I was her mum and that I looked like I was in my 30s. That one kinda stung but I took it on the chin and kept it moving.

Fast forward to on the way home. The wedding was about a 3/4 hr drive away so we stopped for food and bathroom breaks. I order a serving of fries and a Diet Coke as dinner because I didn’t have any of my meal preps with me for dinner because I didn’t think we’d leave that late. Everyone knows I’m on my second weight loss journey. The first one was for my breast reduction and I managed to drop 27kg in 1.5(2020-2022)years through 300cal deficit and with gym time. This second one is I because I got too comfortable and gained it all back but I’ve managed to lose 7kg since start of July.

As we are sat eating dinner, my brother makes a jab at my weight because he wanted my fries after I said no. My mum comes in and he’s getting a scolding because he says these kinds of things to hurt me intentionally. She brings up the situation with the MC and it’s like the gates of a dam burst. I just got up, gave him my fries and went to the bathroom for a good 5 min cry. I came out and my brother tried to apologise and I said no because out relationship is already strained and this was just the last I could take.

Im the family yapper but I was quiet for the rest of the car ride so they knew I was upset. Threw all the motivational stuff they could but I was quiet bc truly I was holding in what seemed to be 22yrs worth of tears. Tbh, I’m crying as I type this😂. I think it hurt so much because I thought nobody would remember what that MC said and now that I know for sure they do, I feel horrible and embarrassed. On top of the fact that I have never been attacked so much in a day. I just feel so beat because I think I told myself that no one really thinks that about me but now I know they do but they just don’t say it. My brother also continued to invalidate my feelings about it.

Thanks for getting this far, if you have any tips on how to stop crying I’d appreciate it lol. I’m not much of a crier so I don’t know how to deal with it.

Update: I’d like to say thank you for all the wonderful and supportive comments and DMs. They’ve validated that I’m not crazy for feeling terrible <3 To clear up some questions and misconceptions, No I am not India based and my brother is 27.

So I wrote this post in the morning after church in the car alone and my dad had not seen me so when he did, we were all in the car so he asked why I was crying and my sister told him it was because of my brother to which he (bro) said it’s not his fault, it’s the MC and I’m being sensitive because he never makes a fuss about it when people say the same to him. Please note that I NEVER ever say anything about people’s bodies. Anytime it’s brought up, I’m dead silent but he always ropes me into is saying “but she’s fat too”. He’s said pointed out my weight in every convo in the last week he’s been living with us.

He got a scolding for that as well from my dad saying he should stop talking about my weight with so much malice and he said that every time they(my parents) talk to him about his,he will talk about mine. The reason my parents warn us is because diabetes and arthritis is very prominent in our family and we are predisposed so being overweight would not be ideal for us.

I have since decided to go no contact with him as it’s not just the weight jokes but so much more stuff. I’m basically an emotional punching bag for him. As for my cousin and the MC, my mum wrote them a very polite but firm message telling them that what transpired was wrong and they should be more considerate of others feelings. I also have dropped out of the wedding that’s slotted for December. This whole situation took me back to when I was a kid and I was the go to for flower girl spots until I got fat so I wasn’t even an option anymore. The resurfacing of that trauma has prompted me to drop out. This was my dad’s side of the family and I we are not close on that side.

I will also be getting a therapist because boy oh boy do I have some crazy stories haha. One day I’ll feel safe enough to tell you all how I was told to hang on a meat hook so they could weigh me in front of an entire dining hall because they’d never seen someone so ‘big’ (they were a rural school so I just gave them grace and I was 10 so I couldn’t really fight and adult).

To all of us that have so many more similar stories, I’m very very sorry. It’s awful and we should be treated better🫂.