I feel envious when someone gets a diagnosis.

For years I've been struggling with my mental health, severely. Due to not so great circumstances I was never able to get treatment or diagnosis or even see a professional. Whenever I hear that a friend of mine gets a diagnosis, I feel blood boiling rage and envy. It feels so unfair, so unjust. That someone gets an opprotunity to get help, when it was never an option for me. It's not like I haven't tried, I have, but I have no way of accessing it, I have to wait a couple more years until I get a stable income and a year until I actually am allowed to see someone. I'm so infrutiated, I just want to get help and feel ok. To not have to resort to the worst coping mechanisms just to feel any sort of peace and comfort.