My partner did not attend our sons birthday

Tl;dr: my (31f) partner (27m) didn’t go to our son’s birthday due to an apparent panic attack. How do I address this? I’m so mad.

Throwaway just in case.. As the title says, my partner did not attend our son’s second birthdays yesterday and I’m honestly so mad and upset. We have been together about 4years.

Our son turned two yesterday and for a few months I’ve been planning his birthday at my mums farm. I did have a feeling that he would pull this because he’s notorious for not attending anything, but I thought surely this would be an exception, apparently not.

The morning went great and I thought everyone was good to go. We had done presents the night before as I knew party day would be a lot, so my partner woke up early with my son and my daughter (6months) and I slept in. My partner and son were playing all morning, everyone was happy, I had a shower and then my partner had a shower.

It was 4 minutes until the planned time to leave and he was still sitting there and not getting dressed and I asked him “are you not going? Why aren’t you getting dressed? What’s going on?” And I honestly at this point didn’t expect him not to go.

He told me he thought he was having a panic attack and he teared up. I might have been a bit of an a-hole here because I honestly didn’t really do anything. I knew exactly where this was going because this is his mo.

I continued running around frantically getting things in the car getting ready to leave and he asked if he could help with anything. I asked again is he going and he said no. I told him to put stuff in the car. I was so incredibly angry and upset but was already 20 minutes behind.

I text him as soon as I left and told him he still has an hour to change his mind and come, as I was going early to set up decorations. He said thanks and that was the last I heard from him before I got home around 7pm, we left at 9am. He didn’t come he didn’t ask how it went, he reacted to my Facebook post and that was it.

When we got home, I text him when I was nearby asking him to get a bottle ready, which he didn’t, and I could see through the windows that he had hung streamers all over the house. I mean, he went to a lot of effort it seems to have hung these streamers and there were also a lot of balloons everywhere. I honestly feel like it would have been less effort for him to just attend the party. He hasn’t even apologised or anything. Clearly he knows he fucked up right? I’m guessing this is why he hung streamers everywhere. He also brought our son inside and had him at the computer as he was in a game instead of taking him straight to bed like normal when he’s asleep when we get home which annoyed me even more.

I honestly don’t know what to do. I have hardly spoken to him since last night, I’m just so angry. I don’t even know if he realised how mad and disappointed I am and not to mention how embarrassing it was to repeatedly be asked where he is or if he’s working and people asking why he’s not at the party. I cried most of the way to my mums, we did have a good day and my son had an awesome time which is awesome.

Anyway I’m sorry this has been so long but please give me advice, what do I do? How do I address it? Should I address it, or just let it go?