[30F] My best friend [33F] suddenly pulled away and I am spiraling. WHY?
SHOULD I REACH OUT?
For months, S and I were inseparable. We talked every day, shared deeply personal things, and even joked about being platonic soulmates. We were planning to move in together in January, and I genuinely thought our friendship was rock-solid.
But about six weeks ago, something shifted. She started pulling away—responding less, canceling plans, and eventually stopping our daily check-ins altogether. Some important developments:
- On Nov. 13, we hung out with a mutual friend, and things got flirty, including some kissing. Since then, I’ve been overthinking if I crossed a line or made her uncomfortable. A similar incident happened in September with another guy, but we ignored it and stayed friends.
- I’ve only seen her once since Nov. 13, on Nov. 15. I asked to hang out earlier that day, but she brushed me off, saying she was busy. Later that night, I ran into her at a gallery with mutual friends. It was awkward and painful—I couldn’t even look at her. She gave me an awkward shoulder hug and left. We haven’t spoken or reached out to each other since.
To complicate things, we’re part of the same social circle, and her birthday is coming up next week. I feel like if I’m not invited, it’ll be a clear signal that our friendship is over, and I’m terrified of losing not only her but also the connections I’ve made through her. I don’t know if I should confront her, give her space, or try to act like nothing’s wrong. This limbo is killing me. I don't want to be in LA without my best friend, and now see what my life would look like without her.
How do I handle this? Should I reach out and risk rejection or just let the friendship fade away? Any advice is appreciated. HELP.
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***If the kissing made her uncomfortable, I DON'T think that was the MAIN reason for the pull back as we were still close friends weeks before this second kissing session.
*** I want to know if I should try again to reach out for an earnest conversation or just continue to wait for her to come to me.
TL;DR : On Nov. 13, things got flirty with a mutual friend, including some kissing. I’ve been overthinking if it made her uncomfortable. A similar situation happened in September, but we ignored it and stayed friends.