Having doubts about my 3 year relationship with perfect on paper boyfriend. Am I self sabotaging?

I (F21) have been dating my boyfriend (M21) for 3 years, we meet at the start of college and started dating within months. I grew up in a rough situation while he grew up well off and was supported in every aspect.

I have always craved stability, and that is what drew me to him. He doesn’t drink, smoke, party, and is very career oriented like me. Since the start, he made it clear he was dating to marry and I have never doubted his intentions.

This is my first real relationship, and I can admit I am a little naive—I fully believed we would get married. We go to a top tier university, have good jobs lined up, and have travel plans booked this summer. On paper, everything looks perfect.

Yet, I consistently feel invalidated by him. He doesn’t believe in mental health, and often tells me my anxiety is not real. I’ve never been formally diagnosed, but I go through some bad episodes at times. I understand it is hard for him to support me, but it hurts how belittled I feel by him at times.

I am also a woman of color, and he is white, and I care deeply about social issues. This is another thing he cannot understand—I understand he grew up very privileged, but it is frustrating when he says things that are insensitive. He is willing to learn, but it feels like the effort he puts in is not enough.

I am a very loyal person, and I feel as though I have invested all my energy into this relationship. I know he would never cheat on me, I am sure he cares deeply about me, and wants to get far in his career for our long-term goals. I love him a lot, but i hate the feeling of being invalidated. I wish he was more empathetic, and cared about the things I cared about. I am also scared of being alone or starting over and never finding someone like him again. Am I just self sabotaging and misunderstanding what a good relationship is due to my unstable childhood?

TL;DR My boyfriend and I had very different upbringings. Although he is the perfect boyfriend on paper (devoted, hardworking, attentive), he does not understand how my upbringing has affected my mental health and does not share the same views on social issues. I have become very dependent on him. Am I self sabotaging?