I (F18) have never cum during sex with my boyfriend (M18) meanwhile he cums every time.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months and have been having sex for 2 months. I'm his first so I understand that it's a learning process, but I'm really starting to become sexually frustrated. It just seems like he still doesn't understand my body. Like, there's so much I have to explain to him. He thought I immediately came the moment we started foreplay because I was getting wet. He doesn't seem to get that my body doesn't work like his. I've tried communicating this to him and encouraged him to do more research. He's looked up different positions but why is he doing that when he knows most women don't orgasm from PIV alone? At least I think he knows. He just seems oblivious sometimes.
I get much more pleasure from masturbating. I thought because I had gotten so used to doing the same thing for some years I should switch it up and maybe I'll cum during sex! I have used toys, erotica, Bellesa porn (highly recommend), and just my imagination with no genital touching. I have no problem orgasming, he just doesn't know how to get me there.
Maybe my communication is trash. When he eats me out it feels like slobber and a lot of spit running down my butt. It feels good when he fingers me but I don't think he does it long enough for it to go anywhere. I wish I felt more comfortable with him down there, something I have to work on, but he's only volunteered to eat me out once while every other time I've had to ask him to. I love giving him head and was hoping it would be mutual. I'm just getting sad at this point. About a month ago we agreed on taking a day to focus on me and my body, yet he ended up coming 3 times and I didn't even get close. He might think set only means PIV is the real thing and everything else is beforehand. I feel like I'm putting more effort into researching than he is. How hard is it to look up some articles/videos about female orgasms?! I've asked him to do this thinking I wouldn't have to help him step by step. I'm on antidepressants and Nexplanon so those might have some contribution. I truly think it is something else
Today I tried using a blindfold hoping it would help me relax and let go if I'm focusing on the sensations rather than what I look like or how he feels about my body. It kind of worked. I wasn't thinking about what he thought of me, but the things I was feeling weren't necessarily always pleasurable. He asked if I could give him head later, but I declined and said if I was going to I wanted some in return. He said he probably wasn't because he didn't want to go to work smelling like me??? I don't think it's me anymore. His technique just seems to kinda suck. He just sees my juices as a messy thing yet he says I'm beautiful and spanks me all the time telling me how hot I am. It just makes no sense to me! I know this was kinda a rant but I would just appreciate someone telling me what's going on. I'm confused about this. What am I not seeing? How would you communicate this in my situation? And no Reddit, I'm not going to just leave. I want to be aware before making any decisions like that. Would appreciate any personal stories as well. Thanks!
Tl; Dr: Boyfriend of 3 months doesn't seem to know how to make me cum even though I've tried telling him how. Might be communication issue :(