… but you’re not my dad.

I have raised my stepdaughter since she was three. I have been there for every major event, achievement, award, and accomplishment. I have been a guiding figure and a shoulder to cry on. But I’m not Dad.

The very last daddy daughter dance is coming up. I have never gotten to attend because her real dad always butts in. We kept it hidden this year. He could honestly give a shit about time with her. So my wife asked if it’s okay for me to go this last time. But he’s not my dad.

She has gone to therapy for PTSD from his abuse and manipulation. When he gets his visits, she’s left at a babysitter or with relatives while he scams people. He did two years and we had to pick her up at the police station when he was arrested. He’s a con man. He’s convinced her that I can never be dad.

So when she was told about the dance she raced to the phone and called him, because I’m not dad. My wife asked her why she would do this after talking to her about how much I want to take her. Because he’s not my dad.

He’s fucking groomed her to think that way. She tried to say there would be other dances and I looked at her and said no there won’t. I explained that I was hurt and while I’m here to support this family. I’m not her dad.

Edit: For clarification, she refers to me as her dad most of the time. If someone asks her who I am, I’m her dad.

For those that don’t like groomed being used. Substitute conned, trained, or brainwashed. She hates her visits with him. She knows he’s full of disappointment. She understands that he is why she goes to therapy. She has admitted that he has told her that she can’t say she loves me because it makes him physically hurt.

We have friends that attend this dance and hate that he’s there. Last year she was pushed off with friends while he chased a waitress around. He’s married.

She’s not new to understanding he’s a bad person. Last night was different. There was no empathy in her eyes. She didn’t care.