Who “made” you drink: just reflecting

There was a post about “who makes you drink” earlier. I wanted to reply but can’t find it now. It’s funny, I was just reflecting on this very thing. I quit two years ago. Nobody “made” me drink. But I sure did drink to cope with stress. And the stress was caused by people. In part, I wasn’t coping well with parenting. I’ve got some challenges I’m working with. Don’t get wrong, I love my kids more than I can explain and they don’t get into the types of trouble I did as a teen. It’s different stuff. I still don’t always handle the stress well, though I’ve gotten better. I’ll tell you what has helped, not drinking. I am, for the most part, clearer headed (still leverage Delta 8/10 on occasion). When there’s a problem I don’t automatically pick something up to drown the angst. When things really hit the fan with the kids year and a half ago, I’d already quit. I’m eternally grateful I did. I’d have crawled so far into that bottle I might not have made it out.

The craving still hits some days—today was one of them. I went to the cabinet and poured a glass of Pathfinder on the rocks — N/A liquor like beverage. I counted a bunch and took a few deep breaths. I didn’t yell. I didn’t over react. Not sure I’ve handled things the way I should have but I know I could have done a lot worse.

Kids (and others) certainly can provide the stress that makes me look wistfully at the liquor cabinet sometimes. But if I have a drink it’s not that they’ve made me drink. I’ve allowed the stress to take control.

I raise a glass of fizzy water to all of those on here, I’m glad you are here. Thanks for reading.