Sending toddler to “pre-school” as a SAHM?? Mom guilt.

I am considering sending my 27 month toddler son to Montessori Pre-School and am feeling very guilty about it.

My son has never not been without me or his dad. He swings very heavy team mama 99% of the time, always has.

The first year of his life I felt like I was crushing it as a mom, but other buckets of my life started to feel neglected (marriage, self, household items, ect.). I’ve spent the last year trying to reclaim some of myself and working more on my marriage and trying to stay up on the household stuff. Now, I feel like I am doing all of those things, including motherhood, just ‘okay.’ Jack of all trades, master of none type of deal.

I obviously want to show up for my son as the best version of myself, but often times lately I feel as if I am short on patience, distracted on my phone and not being the mom I want to be. I am a stay at home mom, and he is my only child and feels as if I should be able to “do it all.”

The pre-school is a Montessori private schools, three days a week from 9am-12pm. We toured the school and quite frankly, loved it. The idea of having three hours a week to get some neglected items taken care of, have flexibility for appointments and some time to get things done without a toddler underfoot really excites me. I’m excited and then immediately plagued with guilt for being excited about it. The whole “he will be in school for a billion years, keep him home as much as you can” “you’ll never get this time back” plays in my head.

Additionally, as I said above my son has never not been with myself or his dad. The time with his dad has never been more than four hours. My son is a very sweet, silly boy, and loves real big, but he does struggle being away from me and will ask his dad where I am when I am gone and cries for me.

Any other primary parents go through something similar? I genuinely want to make a decision for my son that is best for him and not selfishly.