I’m really struggling

Hi, I’m turning to Reddit because I feel as though Im out of other options— and Reddit has been great for other stuff. I have been pulling my hair and lashes out for over 10 years. It used to come and go, but over the past four years it’s been consistently bad. I shaved my head at one point but haven’t been able to grow it back out past a few inches. I just wear a wig and I don’t think anyone knows but I’m super insecure and ashamed about it which makes college life kind of hard. And I know it sounds stupid but I hate the word ‘wig’. I genuinely feel so bad about not being able to stop but resisting the urge to pull feels like resisting the urge to breathe. I don’t know if having this type of ocd is innate or a result of my insane childhood occurrences but I just wish it would stop. I don’t want to isolate myself and feel ashamed and ugly and miss out on living my life. I have a good therapist but even she (out of the 14 therapists I have had over the past 10 years) has not helped. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. If anybody has any advice I’ll take it. Sorry if this is trauma dumping pls don’t feel obligated to engage. Thanks