I hate being an ugly masculine girl, it makes me sad :(

I have a completely unfeminine face and body. I have a wide, big, crooked nose with weird nostrils that makes the middle of my face look like an elephant trunk. My bug eyes make me look like Gollum. I have deep, dark circles around them. I have lots of moles on my face. My head is insanely small and it doesn't fit my body. I have large ears that stick out 90 degrees from my head. And I'm hairy everywhere. I have hair everywhere upper lip, stomach, breasts, legs, arms, all over my back.

I can't take it anymore. I'm so disgusted by the way I look. I'm so tired of being ugly and masculine. I keep seeing pretty girls and I get so jealous of them. I don't feel like the same species as them. They have everything I don't. I feel like a hideous monster next to them.

I'm so ugly that not even old perverts hit on me. Men are repulsed by me. I don't even have female friends as girls have no interest in a friendship with me. When I try to befriend people I get either ignored or insulted. When I talk to people they have this look of disgust in their eyes. I've been called ugly both online and irl.

I just feel like a completely undesirable person that doesn't deserve to be called female. Because I don't look like one. It hurts so much being ugly and manly. Seeing myself in the mirror makes me wanna cry. I legit feel cursed that I'm not only ugly but also resemble a man :( I'm just unappealing in every single way. Why would any man wanna date me? That would be like dating another dude, I keep seeing all the traits that men find attractive in a woman, and I'm the complete opposite of all of them. I wonder what I did wrong in a past life, why me? Why can't I be normal? Why can't I be beautiful and feminine? I long to know what it'd be like to wear makeup and pretty dresses. To have friends and a love life.

Being ugly hurts so much. I've been thinking of suicide a lot lately. I'm scared of dying, but I also don't want to continue my life. My life was over the moment I was born. No coping will save me.