Gays of DC, etiquette for going to an underwear/leather/etc party? Do you have to participate or can you attend fully clothed?

Specifically in this case I’m asking about events at Green Lantern where the website doesn’t have a lot of detail, but I have the same question regardless. My husband and I (M) haven’t been to that many gay bars/clubs but are starting to go out more so trying to educate ourselves in the ways of our people lol

Thanks!

Edit: Thank you everyone for all the responses! Super helpful and encouraging across the board!!