Welcome, fellow Wordingtonians

Hear ye, inhabitants of Wordington! I, the mighty King, ruler of the realm of my Kingdom, have arrived at thy borders with the intention of capturing thy land, not in war or bloodshed, but in peace. Thy realm, renowned for its admiration of majestic physiques, particularly the impressive posteriors of thy noble men, hath caught mine attention. I propose a pact: surrender thy sovereignty to mine, and as a token of my benevolence, I shall bestow upon thee the finest catamites from my kingdom, with beauty and charm to rival the grandest of thy 'big ass' conquests. Resist not, for it is in peace that I extend this offer. Choose wisely, Wordington!